Is beginning a blog in 2021 cool or am I lame mom who’s clinging to the social media fountain of youth??

Well, the answer is….does it really effing matter?! LOL. Yes, this is my first blog post and its nearly the start of 2022. Yes, I am a mom and yes, I generally have no idea what is going on in the world of social media….or any Scy-Fy movies, for that matter.

But why should that stop this old babe from learning a new trick….maybe that’s not the right phrase to use. And….with that, I just made my first post mildly awkward.

All I can ask is for you to get used to my off kilter sense of humor, nerdery, observations or other revelations on this site. Who knows what else will happen on this magical ride I’ve invited you to join me on!

Before I launch into the backstory of how I even got to this moment…let me do a shameless plug for a book that changed my life. And basically, got me to this moment.

I bought myself the fucking lillies and then what I did next! 

After finishing her book: Buy Yourself the Fucking Lillies and Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, I begin my personal journey here. On a Google Doc, just like the amazing author Tara Schuster (T$) told me to do. 

First of all, the author was right. She was right about everything. 

I have never had a book speak to me so literally like this one. Sure, I have read the steps before of how to get your life back on track, how to think positively and all the other bullshit. What was so different about this one? I have no idea. My best guess is that it was all in the timing.  

One of her chapter quotes is actually how I was drawn in to begin with. She spoke of how to feel gratitude when that seems virtually impossible. And that’s exactly where I am at now.

How do I practice this beautiful feeling of having gratitude for my life and things in it? When I feel like it’s impossible to feel gratitude when I don’t have my kids. I’ve been searching sources from every corner all whilst asking the same question. How do I find gratitude in a situation that essentially feel like life has taken a steaming shit on me? Near impossible is what I think. But then, these little nuggets of what the author was saying is starting to get teased out of the gratitude shit pile.  

I find a source of support where I can. Is that in a blog post or my daily life? It is anywhere that I can make it fit with what I need at that moment in that day. 

For example, I began to wonder: Am I just not reading the right books? Am I not mediating enough? How can I meditate when I feel like I am not even connected to myself? The answer is…..it just doesn’t matter where you glean a tiny nugget of support from! It can be in a blog post. It could be on a cereal box. It just has to be something that makes me feel a spark…somewhere in my mind or body. Even if it’s the smallest, most dull and barely seen spark of light…it just has to be something. That way, I have at least something I can build off of. Something that I can create content around.

Content that speaks to me in the moment and helps me see that life is not that bad. Right now. It’s just not that bad at this very moment. I figure the more moments I have like this that the more I can slowly start to string together. Maybe one day, I will have enough of these moments to string together a whole afternoon where I feel connected, I feel gratitude or that I simply, just feel. But until then, I will not be hard on myself. I will just continue to string together one breathe, one thought or one small spark. And if that only gets me 90 seconds of time in total, then that’s fine with me for today. There is always tomorrow where I can try again. And if that doesn’t work either, I will not be hard on myself….I will gently remind me that it’s okay and we will just try again tomorrow. 

I guess it comes down to knowing that there will always be a tomorrow that can lend itself to fixing the way I feel today. And that’s a good thing.  

So, on this Monday morning, where did I find the support source aka The Pretty  Content that I Need? 

I found it in an email that I signed up for from Kate Belew of Tamed Wild. Kate Belew is ah-mazing! I want to be the kind of witch witch that she embodies. Check her out @k8belew. This has been a really great website, podcast, writing support, witchy group of earth-bound intellectual hippy goddesses. Talk about finding your Girl Squad or Lady Harem. I just wish these gals were close to me in the world of latitude and longitude. But hey, since the onset of Covid, I found ways to connect with people over the computer. Which is something I would not have considered before. So thanks Covid, for getting me up to speed with technology and a thing called Zoom.  

Kate Belew explains her Monday blog post with the following information…. 

"Hello on this Monday,   

We’re in the dark days here in the Northern Hemisphere. The clock has moved, we’ve crossed the Samhain threshold and we’re in it. This week, I’d like to advocate for rest, for naps, for time away, for listening to your own wisdom, for releasing, for shedding, and for making space. No is a spell. Spaciousness medicine is a potent lesson of autumn. If the tree didn’t lose its leaves in the fall, we wouldn’t have the reaching and resilience of winter, and the buds of spring, etc.  

November 4th, we celebrated the New Moon in Scorpio (while here in Scorpio season), which asked us to get deep with ourselves. Juliana McCarthy wrote, “On this Scorpio New Moon, may we open to change, breaking through the places where we feel the most stubborn and stuck. May we own our truth and desires as shame and fear alchemize into love.”  

And so I ask you, how is this coming up for you in your life, partnerships, creative process, internal landscapes and dream worlds? 

Some ideas for dark day rituals:  

Write by candlelight  

Do nothing  

Write a letter to your shadow  

Read stories about Poison Plants 

Read about where Scorpio is in your chart 

Keep a dream journal 

Try automatic writing  

Spirit Connection 

One book lead to another which led to another… 

The more that I found things to “work” in congruence with what T$ was saying, I carefully made notes of other books and authors that helped her along the way. This was now become my quest. My quest to figure out how to find my happy in the midst of what felt like that proverbial steaming pile of shit I’m currently slopping around in.  

There have been countless books and authors along the way, but for today, I mean for right now…this passage from Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy by Sheryl Sandberg really caught me; she says: 

“…that while my grief would have to run its course, my beliefs and actions could shape how quickly I moved through the void and where I end up. 

…I don’t know anyone who has been handed roses. We all encounter hardships. Some we see coming; others take us by surprise. It can be as tragic as the sudden death of a child, as heartbreaking as a relationship unravels, or as disappointing as a dream that goes unfulfilled.  

The question is: When these things happen, what do we do next?”